הפואטיקה של מארק טוויין

* סמואל לנגהורן קלמנס נולד ב-30 בנובמבר 1835. הוא נודע בשם מארק טווין. היום הוא יום הולדתו ה-175. כאיש צעיר התפרנס כנווט בספינות ששטו על המיסיסיפי. שמו, מארק טווין, נלקח מעולם הימאות והוא מציין את מידת העומק השניה (Twain) המסומנת (Mark) על פני האנך.

Philosopy
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt

Real estate
Buy land, they’re not making it anymore

Nudism
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society

History
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first

Politics
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Truthiness
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please

Perseverance
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times

Recipe
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life

Friendship
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with

Theology
I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places

Decibels
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid

Hope
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry

Capitalism
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided

Darwinism
Man – a creature made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired

Kindness
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat

Copyright Laws
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet

MBA
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence

Good manners
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear

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